Did you know that a ship that slips only a few degrees off of its intended heading can end up hundreds of miles from its desired destination if not corrected? Our lives are no different. I have discovered that in my life, course corrections that bring me back to the desired heading are a whole lot more effective than resolutions. Here's what I mean:
Nearly eight years ago, I began a process that has been directionally significant in my life - perhaps more than any other process I have undertaken. I believe this is due to the fact that through this process, I intentionally set my life's heading. I had just ended a destructive relationship, graduated from my undergrad and left the country for five weeks of recalibration. My schedule prior to that trip had been nothing short of grueling. I was exhausted. Between my body and mind finally having pause from the breakneck speed and jet lag, I slept for 16 hours every day for 2 straight weeks. After my physical body began to regain energy, I spent days at the beach. Water has always been a rejuvenating force for me; it's where I want to go when I'm running on empty. I sat with a pen and notebook for hours, just watching, thinking and breathing in ocean. Eventually I started to write. After several pages, I had a collection of determinations that answered several questions which were deeply personal and I knew MUST be answered for ME:
What do I want my life to look like? Sound like? Feel like?
What priorities will direct me?
What values am I unwilling to compromise in each key area of my life and will I use to baseline my decisions?
How will my home look? How will people feel there?
How will people feel when they finish an interaction or conversation with me?
From there, I began to isolate and articulate specific behaviors that I knew would support the answers to this first series of questions. The list was fairly long. Some of these behaviors were already part of my daily life - some weren't. The ones that were there needed to continue. The ones that weren't needed to start. After critical review, there were behaviors in which I was engaging that worked in direct opposition to my desired answers to these questions. Those needed to stop. You see, I had drifted off course in several ways. But until I took the time and effort to sit down and determine what that course was, I was powerless to correct it because I had nothing to align my behaviors with. The result of this process were two documents: one that doesn't change and one that does.
That trip was nearly eight years ago. Every New Year's, I take time away to go back and look at the unchanging document. It's my collection of answers to that first series of questions. It's the vision and purpose for how I want my life to be and how I want others to be impacted as a result of their lives colliding with mine. Those answers and desires are birthed out of a deep set of values and convictions that, for me are lifelong. Then I work on editing that second document - it changes slightly from year to year. It is the set of actions and behaviors that facilitate the RESULTS outlined in the first document. It is my set of course corrections. It is my opportunity to really look at each of the areas in which I've identified my heading and adjust. The process is tremendously encouraging as I see where I'm on course. It's also challenging as I see where I've allowed myself to drift.
Some people differentiate these ideas by using terms like "Vision Statement" vs. "Mission Statement". I like to think of it as the difference between a destination and a road map. I have to know where I want to end up AND the daily directions of how to get there. One without the other is fairly useless. Growth is a RESULT. Destinations are a RESULT. Behaviors and habits are the CAUSES that drive those RESULTS.
This year, maybe instead of setting a bunch of resolutions that may only impact certain isolated areas of your life, take some time to think about answers to bigger questions...
Have you determined on a grander scale what you want your life to look like?
Have you decided which questions MUST be answered for YOU?
Have you answered them?
Which specific behaviors are you already doing that support those answers? War against those answers?
Which behaviors need to start in order to get back on course?
Determine your destination in every key area of your life: emotional, physical, intellectual, relational and spiritual. Then nail down the behaviors that will keep you on course and get you back on course where you've drifted. Your behaviors are always moving you toward something. Make sure you are on the right track.
Lean forward,
Bekka
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