The Hutch

I have a hutch in my kitchen. In it is all the glassware I use for special occasions, my wok and vases for the occasional flower arrangement that needs a home. The “shelf” of the hutch is supposed to be a transient space. Keys land there before being put away or grabbed on the way out the door. I have a fruit bowl that generally collects other random items on their way to their permanent home. And then I have the corner of the hutch where I put things that need to be addressed, just not right now. Bills that aren’t due for two weeks, credit cards that need to be activated, invitations that need to be R.S.V.P.’d to, and “things that need to be filed but I don’t want to file them right now”. These include paid bills, letters from our sponsored children, insurance statements, instruction manuals, or birthday cards I want to save. Things that need to be filed but I don’t have time or desire to file them now. I hate filling. HATE. FILING. It’s not a difficult job. It doesn’t even take very long. But I hate it.

So, when I go to get the mail every day, I sort it and put in the Pile what needs to be dealt with but I’m too busy to at that moment – even if the busy-ness is only a mental state of unwillingness or being unorganized. Every few months, the Pile becomes obnoxious. I can’t use the hutch for what it’s meant for, the kitchen processes are threatened, the fruit bowl begins to be swallowed, and I generally have a slight anxiety attack when I even look in the general direction of the hutch. It’s at that point I snap, usually stop something doing actually important, and take few minutes it takes to sort the “done” from the “undone”, pick up the “done” and walk it downstairs to the filing cabinet in my office, and get to work on taking care of the “undone” before the lights get shut off because the bill is in there…somewhere.

There is no reason – not one – that my kitchen needs to be taken over with this pile. And yet it happens every month or so without fail. The hutch is my catch-all for things that are important but not urgent. This is an important distinction to make.

There are things that are urgent but not important – these are the ones that clutter our day, make us late and cause general stress that’s unnecessary but we feel compelled to give our attention to the urgent even though it may not truly be consequential. Things we feel others expect us to do, projecting a certain image, many meetings, and watching the Oscar's live instead of DVR-ing it for a later, more convenient time all land here.

There are the urgent, important things. A fire would land in this category, an injured child, a woman in labor, a shipment being delayed because of insufficient access permissions, a deadline, or the water bill. They deserve and demand our attention immediately and are very consequential. It’s easy to find motivation to do these things because they are often associated with a sense of panic or adrenaline.

Some things are neither urgent nor important. These are usually things we enjoy doing but aren’t necessary for the daily workings of our lives. These are the things we should enjoy during free time – if we are lucky enough to have such a thing. They are important on a personal fulfillment level, but not on a practical or professional output level.

Lastly, there are the things that land on the hutch – the important but not urgent. They are important but do not require our immediate attention. There are the things we need to be intentional about because they are important even though they don’t have the “panic factor” driving us to check them off of our To Do List. Here’s the deal – these things don’t stay “not urgent”. Eventually, they will move from “Important but not Urgent”, to “Urgent and Important”. Along with the things that land in my Pile, here are a few things that call this category home:

Your child’s daily music practice.

Changing your furnace filter.

Cleaning your rain gutters.

Your relationship with your spouse.

Renewing your car insurance.

Changing the batteries in your smoke detector.

Expense reports.

R.S.V.P. to your cousin’s wedding.

Ordering printer ink.

Your health.

Eventually, you will have to stop doing something important because your Pile is taking over your life. The things you’ve neglected – things that don’t take a lot of time if you just do them – will become something you cannot ignore. Something you cannot shelf anymore. Eventually, their level of urgency will dramatically increase and will often cause a major inconvenience at best, a complete stall at worst. Eventually, you will have to rely on the “panic factor” to get them done. Everything around you will have to stop – and that rarely ends well.

What’s on your hutch?

Lean forward,

Bekka

Talking to myself

I recently heard an incredibly intelligent woman conduct a leadership exercise in a class I was part of. She had everyone put two columns on a sheet of paper then list their top three leadership strengths in one column and their top three weaknesses/areas for improvement in the other. The next step was to rate each of the weaknesses on a scale of 1-10 in order of intensity. She was finished talking about strengths at that point. J So the weaknesses were rated: 1 being “I can barely perform this skill to a noticeable degree” and 10 being “Any improvement on this would move it to the Strengths column”. So we all rated our weaknesses. Mine were all between 4-6 on the scale, as were most of the people’s at my table. Then the woman asked a very interesting question.

“Why so high?”

Everyone was confused at first, many raising hands to express their concern over what they were missing. She answered one of the people.

Instructor: “What was your rating?”

Person: “4”

Instructor: “Why not 1?”

Person: “Because I am able to do this – definitely not as well as I would like to but I CAN do it. I’m wouldn’t give myself a 1 because I could absolutely be a LOT worse at it but…….OK…..I get it.”

The point of this exercise was simple – when we change the way we TALK about the things we want to improve, our confidence builds and we get a more accurate picture of what our capabilities ACTUALLY are, not just the way we feel about performing a certain task or skill. When we change the question, we begin to give reasons why we CAN succeed instead of why we DON’T succeed…even if it is as seemingly insignificant as a skill we don’t think we are good at.

How are you talking about yourself? Your skills? Your abilities?

Are you looking for the reasons you are capable, strong, competent? Or are you looking to provide justification for inability, unwillingness or lack of effort?

If you’re on the 3^rd rung of a 10-step ladder, are you more discouraged because you’re on step #3 than you are empowered because you are actually ON THE LADDER?

Does your goal seem far away? Does that weigh you down? Maybe you need to assess the distance between you and the starting line and draw confidence from the fact that you’re not standing at the start anymore.

Why so high?

Change the questions you’re asking. It will change the way you talk to yourself. And that changes everything.

Lean forward,

Bekka

Who's Hungry Matters

This week, I’m going to do something I will likely never do again. I’m going to reference a lengthy quote from the book “Leaders Eat Last” by one of my favorite leadership gurus, Simon Sinek. He is a groundbreaking thinker in leadership who studies our biological tendencies as related to leadership theory and practice. His work is fascinating and I know you will be encouraged by his words. This excerpt is taken from a chapter discussing the concept of alpha leaders in tribes, the perks afforded to those alpha individuals, and the dynamics around how certain individuals naturally rise as alphas to the forefront in a group. Toward the end of the chapter, he applies his discussion to modern leadership in politics and in organizational leadership. Here is where we pick up his thought:

“The rank of office is not what makes someone a leader. Leadership is the choice to serve others with or without any formal rank. There are people with authority who are not leaders and there are people at the bottom rungs of an organization who most certainly are leaders. It’s ok for leaders to enjoy all the perks afforded to them. However, they must be willing to give up those perks when necessary.

Leaders are the ones willing to look out for those to the left and to the right of them. They are often willing to sacrifice their own comfort for ours, even when they disagree with us. Trust is not simply a matter of shared opinions. Leaders are the ones who are willing to give up something of their own for us. Their time, their energy, their money, maybe even the food off their plate. When it matters, leaders CHOOSE to eat last. By the objective standards of leadership, those who aim to raise their own status simply so they can enjoy the perks themselves without fulfilling their responsibilities as leaders are, plain and simple, weak leaders. Though they may achieve alpha status and rise in the ranks, though they may possess talents and strengths that could earmark them for alpha status, they only become leaders when they accept the responsibility to protect those in their care. If they choose to sacrifice those in their tribe for personal gain, however, they will often struggle to hold on to the position once they’ve got it. Again, the group is not stupid. The people always have the power.

The leaders of organizations who rise through the ranks not because they want it, but because the tribe keeps offering higher status out of their gratitude for their willingness to sacrifice, are the true leaders worthy of our trust and loyalty. What makes a good leader is that they eschew the spotlight in favor of spending time and energy to do what they need to do to support and protect their people. And when we feel that circle of safety around us, we offer our blood, sweat and tears and do everything we can to see our leader’s vision come to life. The only thing our leaders ever need to do is remember whom they serve and it will be our honor and pleasure to serve them back.”

Lest you think I’m pawning my post off on Simon this week, here are the questions I’ve been wresting with since reading this confronting chapter:

Are you frustrated at the lack of “followership” in your organization? Perhaps you should examine your willingness to lay down your alpha perks – and not just your willingness, but how often you ACTUALLY DO decline those things in favor of support and protection of those you are leading.

When are you eating? Are you rushing forward to the front of the line when it comes to the proverbial and literal dinnertime? Do those in your care really believe you would go without if eating meant they wouldn't go hungry? How often are you at the back of the line, letting those you lead go ahead? If you’re constantly looking out for yourself instead of those you lead in these visible, tangible, practical moments…don’t be surprised if they are less inclined to get behind you when your vision is at stake.

Do you, as a leader, TRULY believe it is your number one priority to serve those you lead? Do you act like it? Do you exemplify it in everyday situations like eating and conversation? Have you considered what it means to serve another person in a conversation?

The ramifications of these concepts run deep and wide in our organizations and vividly highlight how much of an impact we can have in the dynamics of our cultures. “Servant leadership” is such an overused, cliché term – mostly because we use it without a tangible connection to action and visible example. But it’s not a modern concept – it’s an ancient instinct. It’s how humanity has behaved and interacted for centuries. It’s how the group identifies and recognizes the alphas. You don’t lead unless the tribe is convinced you will serve. 

Serving our people doesn’t happen in big ways. It happens in little ways. It happens in the lunch line. It happens in our conversations. It happens when we take the time to LOOK for ways to be selfless in frequent, everyday situations.

A culture like this breeds amazing followers. Followers who KNOW that their safety and well being are their leader’s priority…priority enough to feel served and supported and protected, are the ones who respond without hesitation to a leader’s request when it’s game time. We are biologically wired to return that favor hand over fist.

Lean forward,

Bekka