Give It Up

Leadership involves sacrifice.

Every.

Time. 

If you aren't interested in learning to appreciate and participate in sacrifice, don't expect anyone to follow you. In fact, don't expect to get anywhere you'd like to be. 

You cannot successfully lead yourself, your family, or your business to a destination that matters unless you are willing to give up things you WANT to be doing in favor of things you NEED to be doing. This is true of any personal goal that matters, any challenge that requires us to personally stretch, any process that pulls on our sense of preference in order to move us from where we ARE to where we WANT TO BE. This is not a breakthrough discovery. I think we all know and acknowledge the need to put our wants and desires in the back seat often in order to lead others toward a destination that benefits everyone in the car.

I believe there is a fundamental difference between those brilliant leaders that people are drawn toward and motivated to follow and those who others follow because they find themselves in a position where they HAVE to follow. Coming in on time to work for a boss because he is your boss is a far different story than coming in with your team an hour early and working two hours late because you are so motivated by the leader of that team and their vision to succeed on the project.

One is obligatory; the other is voluntary.

One is expected; the other is over-and-above.

One earns a paycheck; the other earns a place in a great success story.

One is what most have; the other is what most want.

I believe that fundamental difference is the way that leader speaks about their own sacrifices. How we communicate about our own sacrifices is just as important as how we communicate about any other aspect of our leadership.

1.) We should speak of it as necessary and expected

We shouldn’t downplay and spin our sacrifices as rosy or minimal. We don’t need to speak of them as desirable – just that they are necessary. When our leadership lacks sacrifice, it will only ever be about us. When we grasp the power of sacrificial leadership, the lens zooms out and it becomes about something so much bigger. Our conversation around the sacrifices we make should reflect this truth. When we focus our vision through this lens, we can communicate to those we lead that sacrifice is a natural and expected step on the leadership journey. Knowing this, we can present sacrifice as ultimately positive, even though the experience of sacrifice is negative by definition.

2.) We should speak of it as purposeful

When your life exists for the sole purpose of impacting others, you will be an effective leader. You can’t have the first without the inevitable result. The other amazing thing that happens when you lay yourself aside for a purpose larger than yourself is that you participate in a great story. No sane person sacrifices something they want for an ambiguous or vague cause. We should always, constantly, intimately know our purpose. That purpose contextualizes our sacrifices and gives them worth that they would otherwise lack apart from direct articulation to the ultimate goal.

3.) We should speak of it as the temporary means to a beautiful end

The idea of cost is intricately woven through the concept of value. The things that cost us more are those we value more highly and, in turn treat with much more care. The end for which we are sacrificing MUST be in accurate relation to the level of our sacrifice. No one would pay $100 for a PB&J. Neither would one expect to pay $5k for a new car. The cost doesn’t reflect the value of the result. Think about your end result. Is it truly beautiful? Does it reflect the value of the things you’re sacrificing now? If not, perhaps you should recalibrate what you’re giving up.

If it is, speak about the end…often.

Remind those you are leading of the destination…often.

Draw attention to how beautiful the end is and not toward how uncomfortable the means are. Speak about sacrifice in a way that inspires those you are leading THROUGH the temporary and propels them TOWARD the joy of what lies ahead. 

Lean forward, 

Bekka